grandma gwen love.
:)
at the wildlife museum.
swimming at mom and dad's hotel.
valentine's day.
Monday, March 1, 2010
playing cathch up.
his one true love, the vacuum.
grandma gwen love.
:)
at the wildlife museum.
swimming at mom and dad's hotel.
valentine's day.
grandma gwen love. :)at the wildlife museum.swimming at mom and dad's hotel. valentine's day.
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
still here II.
warning: long boring (whining) post with no pictures.
what a difference a 'day' can make. once you go past your due date things kinda go well, difficult. it's like you've been planning something fun for this certain day for 9 long months and then suddenly it doesn't work out. it's just a date they give you, not the exact day your suppose to have a baby, but somehow your mind doesn't always wrap around that fact. if you've ever had the privilege of being over 40 weeks pregnant you know what i'm talking about, the mind games have began.
physically, i feel great. i mean, really, i feel great. on my due date i shoveled the drive way, went swimming, slept through the night. but emotionally, i'm totally spent. i'm at a constant state of waiting. anyone that has been within a 2 feet radius of me has had the wrath of my frustrations in the past week. i've been a total let down as a wife, sister, daughter, and mother. i've debated going out and seeing people i know b/c i hear the comment "you're STILL pregnant!?" yep, it sure LOOKS like it! learning patience is just as hard this time as it was waiting for lane.
while i'm feeling overwhelmed with circumstances, i am very thankful. thankful for time with family that we would never have a chance to get if baby would have come when anticipated. thankful for a serving & loving husband. thankful for lane and his unending ways of making me laugh. and so thankful for the baby we saw in an ultrasound yesterday.
but REALLY hoping this baby doesn't have a march birthday.
what a difference a 'day' can make. once you go past your due date things kinda go well, difficult. it's like you've been planning something fun for this certain day for 9 long months and then suddenly it doesn't work out. it's just a date they give you, not the exact day your suppose to have a baby, but somehow your mind doesn't always wrap around that fact. if you've ever had the privilege of being over 40 weeks pregnant you know what i'm talking about, the mind games have began.
physically, i feel great. i mean, really, i feel great. on my due date i shoveled the drive way, went swimming, slept through the night. but emotionally, i'm totally spent. i'm at a constant state of waiting. anyone that has been within a 2 feet radius of me has had the wrath of my frustrations in the past week. i've been a total let down as a wife, sister, daughter, and mother. i've debated going out and seeing people i know b/c i hear the comment "you're STILL pregnant!?" yep, it sure LOOKS like it! learning patience is just as hard this time as it was waiting for lane.
while i'm feeling overwhelmed with circumstances, i am very thankful. thankful for time with family that we would never have a chance to get if baby would have come when anticipated. thankful for a serving & loving husband. thankful for lane and his unending ways of making me laugh. and so thankful for the baby we saw in an ultrasound yesterday.
but REALLY hoping this baby doesn't have a march birthday.
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
still here.
still very pregnant. still waiting. still large and not so much in charge. still loving life. still laughing at my little boy. still married to the bestest man. still wondering pink or blue. still very blessed. still surrendering time. still giving God control.
Friday, February 12, 2010
Saturday, February 6, 2010
letters to my kids.
dear lane,
the other day as we were leaving the carters store, buying something for your new brother or sister, you looked up at me and reached for my hand. you smiled and nodded your head to the music. it felt so good lane, a tiny moment i don't think i'll ever forget. we fit together, you and me. we're getting very excited to meet your baby brother or sister but at times i feel sad. i realize you won't remember what its like having just dad and me to yourself, the love that us three share will only get bigger and better...i'm sure of that! i feel sad that you will miss the way things used to be, sad i won't be able to give you ALL of my attention. we'll just have to make sure that we make time for just us two buddy...and guess what, it will be even more special then. but before any of that happens, i want you to know how special these past 20 months have been. life will never be the same since before you were born. you changed me, molded me into a person i didn't know existed. you, my sweet baby boy, made me into a mom. you have been your dad and i's greatest joy for nearly two years. through you, God, has changed your dada and i. we now understand God's love for his children. everyday i pray you can feel God's love through me being your mom. i don't want to be sad about this stage in our lives coming to an end or start not looking forward to all the excitement that is ahead of us. so, whatever time is ahead of us before baby is born lets enjoy! pull my hand over your eyes every morning b/c the room is too bright when i open the curtains, tug at my hands when i just sit down, help me blow dry my hair, lets enjoy our everydays. i love you even more than i did on the day you were born...NOTHING will ever change that!
you are true love lane.
love, mama.
dear little baby in my belly,
it's probably not fair to write you a letter today. i'm tired. being pregnant kept me awake all night. who knew heartburn hurts so bad!? right now i'm 38.5 weeks along. so roughly 1.5 weeks from meeting you. we are getting SO excited. i don't mean it little baby, i know you hear me, but i am always saying that we won't be able to go do 'this' and 'that' for a while once you are here. you are not a damper on our schedule. just a change, a welcome change. i'll admit it, i'm so scared. so scared that i won't be able to give you all my attention and love that i was able to give your brother for so long. i know you won't know any different but i want you to know you are ALREADY equally loved. from the minute we found out about you, you have had my heart. a huge piece of my heart. there isn't a moment that goes by that i don't think about you. never once have you let me forget i'm pregnant. thank you for always moving so much. we've seen so much of you through ultrasounds, you've already had your picture taken way more than your big brother. i will try my hardest to take just as many pictures of you as i have him! you and me kiddo have a special connection, we're both the second born in our families. it's the best. you'll always have an older sibling who's your best friend, teaching you all sorts of new things. and Lord willing, someday you'll have younger brothers/sisters. another best friend who you'll be able to make all sorts of memories with. once you're here, there is going to be a lot of "s/he looks just like lane (or vance, or celine)" but you are unique, you are special you. we already are loving you as much as we possibly can but even more importantly, there is a God who planned you and loves you more than we ever could. you are so meant to be.
my arms are ready.
love, mama.
the other day as we were leaving the carters store, buying something for your new brother or sister, you looked up at me and reached for my hand. you smiled and nodded your head to the music. it felt so good lane, a tiny moment i don't think i'll ever forget. we fit together, you and me. we're getting very excited to meet your baby brother or sister but at times i feel sad. i realize you won't remember what its like having just dad and me to yourself, the love that us three share will only get bigger and better...i'm sure of that! i feel sad that you will miss the way things used to be, sad i won't be able to give you ALL of my attention. we'll just have to make sure that we make time for just us two buddy...and guess what, it will be even more special then. but before any of that happens, i want you to know how special these past 20 months have been. life will never be the same since before you were born. you changed me, molded me into a person i didn't know existed. you, my sweet baby boy, made me into a mom. you have been your dad and i's greatest joy for nearly two years. through you, God, has changed your dada and i. we now understand God's love for his children. everyday i pray you can feel God's love through me being your mom. i don't want to be sad about this stage in our lives coming to an end or start not looking forward to all the excitement that is ahead of us. so, whatever time is ahead of us before baby is born lets enjoy! pull my hand over your eyes every morning b/c the room is too bright when i open the curtains, tug at my hands when i just sit down, help me blow dry my hair, lets enjoy our everydays. i love you even more than i did on the day you were born...NOTHING will ever change that!
you are true love lane.
love, mama.
dear little baby in my belly,
it's probably not fair to write you a letter today. i'm tired. being pregnant kept me awake all night. who knew heartburn hurts so bad!? right now i'm 38.5 weeks along. so roughly 1.5 weeks from meeting you. we are getting SO excited. i don't mean it little baby, i know you hear me, but i am always saying that we won't be able to go do 'this' and 'that' for a while once you are here. you are not a damper on our schedule. just a change, a welcome change. i'll admit it, i'm so scared. so scared that i won't be able to give you all my attention and love that i was able to give your brother for so long. i know you won't know any different but i want you to know you are ALREADY equally loved. from the minute we found out about you, you have had my heart. a huge piece of my heart. there isn't a moment that goes by that i don't think about you. never once have you let me forget i'm pregnant. thank you for always moving so much. we've seen so much of you through ultrasounds, you've already had your picture taken way more than your big brother. i will try my hardest to take just as many pictures of you as i have him! you and me kiddo have a special connection, we're both the second born in our families. it's the best. you'll always have an older sibling who's your best friend, teaching you all sorts of new things. and Lord willing, someday you'll have younger brothers/sisters. another best friend who you'll be able to make all sorts of memories with. once you're here, there is going to be a lot of "s/he looks just like lane (or vance, or celine)" but you are unique, you are special you. we already are loving you as much as we possibly can but even more importantly, there is a God who planned you and loves you more than we ever could. you are so meant to be.
my arms are ready.
love, mama.
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