not in the plans.

gallstones. they were most definitely not in our plans for this pregnancy and are some pretty unwanted guests. the past two weeks have been SO long; full of lots of pain, crying, frustration, praying, and begging. what a whirlwind!

at the beginning of this pregnancy i was having some weird chest pains, the dr's all attributed it to indigestion and i half heartily agreed b/c yes, i do get major heart burn. it wasn't until more recently that the "indigestion" started to get out of control that i basically freaked out at my dr saying "i'm NOT ok!"

sure enough, after ultrasounds & specialists...gallstones it is. i feel like an 80 year old man saying that, in my head i thought only elderly people got them. (sorry mom, you were the one exception in my mind.) supposedly increased estrogen in pregnancy can bring them on...sigh.

for some reason i can "do" childbirth but these gallbladder attacks have just been a mind game. so much pain with no reward. for now the plan is being stuck in the middle...at least thats how i feel. if it was earlier on in my pregnancy they'd be able to do surgery but i'm much too big (the dr kindly said, "you're just SO big") that they wouldn't be able to do it laparoscopically which would throw me into premature labor or i wouldn't be healed enough in weeks to physically have a baby. sometime after baby is born we'll do surgery...that will be something to look forward to, not! (and yep, i just pulled the 1990's not!)

so....we're praying HARD for decreased gallbladder attacks. praying that this isn't an issue during labor. makes my heart so heavy....i don't want this to sound as a pitiful me post b/c its not...right now its about having a healthy baby. (with being comfortable till then) and, we are SO thankful...if gallstones are our biggest worry then life must not be too bad, there is so much heartache in the world, this is just one of those "things!"

in one way this has been (seriously!) one of the hardest weeks but i've also been humbled and brought to tears multiple times with people lifting me/us up in prayer. friends near & far, family, my mom's bible study gals, so many people. vance has been my knight in shining armour, saving the day countless times...he's basically done every chore, taken care of the boys, & taken care of me for the past week!

31 weeks. we can do it! my arms can't wait to hold the sweet baby we've seen on ultrasounds and really, it wasn't until this week that i've actually realized i'm pregnant. we can't wait, we're so ready (well, nothing has been done) to meet you little baby!

...keep the prayers coming!!

xoxo

the boys.

i love these boys. just look at them all wrapped up in their daddy's arms! ...they are my family. i still can't believe it, we have a little house with a little family to care for, somehow i still feel i'm playing pretend. even on our roughest days; stepping on hot wheels, temper tantrums left and right, breaking up little battles over toys...i know we are living the days we'll sit back and talk about with full hearts, the good ol' days. what a blessing today is, what blessings they are.

today.

right now i'd really like to be taking a nap but heart burn is putting a stop to that, bummer! (come on tums, do.your.job!) so instead of doing the thousands of other things (laundry, bathrooms, cookings, making a grocery list) i should do, i'll stop here for a few minutes.

...today i've been listening to this on repeat and letting the words soak up in heart as tears soak my checks.

heal my heart and make it clean
open up my eyes to the things unseen
show me how to love like You have loved me
break my heart for what breaks Yours
everything i am for Your Kingdom's cause
as i walk from earth into eternity

...today i've been looking at the hundreds of pictures i need to sort through, edit, and post.

...and today some of my thoughts have been.

-we MUST get lane some more pants.

-i wish we could skip over winter and head straight into summer again.

-why doesn't colorado have a trader joe's?!

-i'm 30 weeks. that means 10 more weeks. (i know, i'm a genius, great math eh?)

-i'm having a hard time deciphering between god's plan for my life and my plan for my life.

-another trip to costco, already?

-i'm completely overwhelmed by the amount of organization our house needs.

-we can't put off putting the boys in the same room much longer...urgh.

-the box of baby clothes we got out of storage has some pretty precious memories in it.

-looking at all the newborn clothes, i can't help but want a little boy to put in them.

-i need to vacuum out the car soon, lane even says it smells funny.

-hmm, who's on ellen today?

-can't wait to watch a new show vance & i just heard about. harvest.

-why don't they make caffeine free non-diet dr. pepper?

-i'm glad my kids smile nearly every minute of the day...you can't not smile back.

-gage is talking way more than lane was at his age. that alone makes me very happy!

-i should attempt to get an early start on christmas cards, i say that every year.

-yesterday during an ultrasound lane kept calling the little baby her. "look at her nose!" "i see her toes!" "her lips are so cute!" does he know something i don't?

-what's for supper?

-wonder if i should move gage up to a size 6 diaper?

-i'm so sick of diego. must return dvd to library!!

-i looked at our wedding pictures today, two words, baby.face!...the both of us, so young!

-i cannot wait to go on a family bike ride this weekend. 80's baby!

-why are camera lenses so stinking expensive?!? someday? come on, a girl can dream!

-i need to go do something productive. i'm out of here!

home-aha.

a few weeks back (man, i'm way behind!) the boys & i flew to omaha for a few days. i'm not sure who was more excited...lane or me. lane packed his suitcase for weeks, he packed everything from lotion to jello. for weeks he talked about driving his pickup and called papa neal daily to make sure it was charging or getting some 'juice.' i was excited to be home...with my mom and penny...and renee too:) ah, loved all our time there...so much fun and so many pictures.

first things first...lane HAD to drive his pickup.

at b&g's for some lunch. yum-o. the boys thought they were hot shots sitting at the counter. (thanks renee for taking some pictures of us!)

this is how lane wanted to take a pic...




girls cousin night at anna's house. SO fun to see britney in omaha and to talk with her about life at grace. oh, the memories!
i was surprised to walk in the kitchen to see that we had all left the babies. ha, they didn't seem to mind.
andrea sat down to eat so the babies (when will i stop referring to gage as a baby? when new little baby is here?!) thought they should too. anna, thank you for the awesome meal!!! you make a mean apple crisp!
playing at papa and grandma gwen's.
buddies.

met up with a dear old friend jessica for a donut date. so fun to be pregnant together, really, we are due within days of each other! and as in old friend...we've known each other for what, 17/18 years? wow!!
darling elle.
getting to work. washin the pick up!


while we were there i had my 29th birthday. it was so special to be home...my mom made my ultimate favorite and most requested meal, chicken noodle soup & dumplings. happy birthday to me:)

for my birthday my mom asked what i wanted to do, i said, "take the boys to scheels for a ferris wheel ride." ha, what!?! i'm so boring! i knew it would bring lots of smiles for the boys...which brings me lots of smiles. lane loved it...the whole he was screaming, LOUD, like the whole store could hear him:)

gage on the other hand only made it one loop before he got off.

i convinced aunt renee to give penny a taste of frosting. she's a ferry, she has a natural sweet tooth. welcome to the club penny:)

gage showing penny the ropes of an activity mat.

my little gagers. (he is looking SO much like vance to me these days. everyday he reminds me more and more of his daddy and when i look at vance i see so much gage.)
my crazy boys...and this was BEFORE any birthday cake.

bring on the sugar...


doing morning chores with grandma.
lane's other new love at their house...the 4 wheeler. he wanted to go on rides ALL THE TIME!...and so he did go on rides all the time!

more playing...


LOVE this picture. (might be my most favorite one of the week!)

precious penny, she has the best expressions!!






one big thing i wanted to do while there was go to the pumpkin patch. (here is 2008, 2008-2, 2009, 2010) this place holds lots of fun memories...

the ferry girls & herrick girls circa 1990.
this year didn't disappoint. once again, SO MUCH FUN!!!



lane...
wasn't so sure...
about this pick-up. it had a skeleton driving it & smoke coming out of the engine. that night he woke up multiple times crying and mumbling something about smoke & engines. oh lane!


pony rides. $5 a kid...really!? i gotta stop having kids, outings aren't cheap!


the corn pit, quite possibly our most favorite part.

lane diving in head first.
corn was EVERYWHERE.
papa even joined in on the fun.
as did grandma gwen.



melt my heart!!

the boys attacking penny.

jump!!

and it was then time to go home...
and then the next morning get on a plane to (really) go home. thanks for all the fun times mom & dad!!

...since we've been home the boys have been pretending to be sammie & ginger (my parents dogs). hmmm, wonder if when we go to kansas if we'll come back with two little cows:) can't wait to find out!