identity crisis.

this is me.

but its true. i miss myself sometimes. like the old me. the one who didn't have "cute" sweatpants for when her husband was getting home. the girl who didn't consider going to walmart alone as a special outing. i miss the one girl that got ready in the morning playing the music she wanted to, taking her time, trying her newest mac eyeshadows. she had her house clean...all.the.time. never ever did she have a dish in the sink or have piles of clothes that were waiting to be folded. she got all glittered up for a friday (or wednesday or whatever day they wanted to) night out. and don't ya know, that girl slept till 11am when she had to be at work at 1. yep, she had it made, but she had no idea back then...her arms wanted a baby. and thats when i realize, wanting to be that girl again isn't all that its cracked up to be. she didn't have two kids that made her smile every moment of everyday. someday i'll miss the days that it takes us nearly an hour to get out to door to run to target to pick up a pack of diapers. i'll miss having to switch lane's shoes to the right feet after he put them on the wrong ones. i'll miss emptying the dishwasher with a baby crawling away with the whisk. but there are days when i get tired and i miss that old girl. she's still in there, sometimes i get a glimpse of her. she'll come back soon enough.

...this may have been stirred on by this picture i stare at 5 times a day while feeding gage. who are these fresh faced kids on their honeymoon?!