you're two. it's been an exhausting weekend. maybe i haven't been fully fair, i've had a headache and unfortunately my attitude is affected when i don't feel good. i've learned something about life, there can be really bad moments in really good days and really good moments in really bad days...unfortunately, this past week we've had just really good moments.
last time we came back from vacation was, what i thought, one of the hardest weeks. i (thought) i had mentally prepared myself for another week like that but yet again, it was hard. this week you've learned to tackle...you're brother. you think he shouldn't be allowed to play with any toys and that you should hit him (hard) in the head with them. you also think his head is a good spot to kick while we're in the car. you love him, just in a rougher way than what we'd like.
you're our first born and i so fear we're being harder on you than we should. how do we discipline without making your heart hard, i've yet to figure it out. i try to remind myself that you're only two. other times, you get away with much more than i'd like to share. by the time i comfort you're brother, it's easier to just let it (whatever happened) go then to start the crying all over again. so many times this week i've broken down in tears, feeling totally defeated by your two-ness. we've prayed, prayed, and prayed that we can be the parents He wants us to be for you.
i write this not to whine...or complain about you. but to remind myself to cherish the challenges and journey in what a single day brings. you make me so happy. when you smile, the stress of the whole day goes away...and oddly, my headache goes too. when you run from across the room to just say hi and give me a hug, and tug and tug on my shirt till i lean down and give you one, my world is so complete.
yes lane, its true, you have sweet moments even on your most frustrating days. but remember my little boy, there is no amount of challenge, no amount of stress, no amount of disobedience or anything else that could make me love you less.
thank you for being two. i wouldn't not want you to be.
love, mama.
3 comments:
Lane....stop hitting your brother....he will remember and hit back, or if he is like Celine when she was a little girl, he will bite you....it's coming bud, stop hitting
whenever i have been around lane he has been bursting with energy but i never saw any meanness or disobedience or even him doing something for attention. he was just enjoying life! so that means you are doing a pretty darn good job, mama! just wait till gage fights back...haha!
Hi Celine! This is Lindsay, John O'Brien's wife. We had found your blog a while ago from your FB page and I have been keeping up with it (I hope you don't mind). I just wanted to let you know that this one touched my heart. It brought me to tears because I feel the same way sometimes with our kids. You are always so open and honest and REAL in your posts! Thank you! You have touched the heart of a stranger!
Lindsay O'Brien
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